I went to see he’s just not that into you with a few girlfriends today. One part of the movie really stood out, Drew Barrymore’s character says something like
‘He myspaced me and then messaged my blackberry, so I texted his cell and then he emailed my home account and I left a voicemail…I remember the days when there was one home line and one answering machine and inside that answering machine was one cassette tape where he did or didn’t leave you a message. Now you have to go around checking all these different portals just so you can be rejected by seven kinds of technology’
Or something along those lines.
This got me thinking, how much has technology changed love? And is it all bad?
Let’s start with the cons. Instantly a potential date can find out multitudes of information about you online…even if he can’t access your facebook chances are he may be able to access one of your friends and see the way you’ve been interacting with that person….this is a huge con, he could mis-interpret who you really are.
When you want him to call, text, email, voicemail or facebook you and he doesn’t this is also bad because at the end of the day you know…he’s very connected and it’s not because he CAN’T contact you in any one of the various ways that technology has presented to him…it’s that he WON’T. And there you are…rejected and alone with only your cell or laptop for comfort. Additionally it doesn’t help that you’re so connected either – imagine going through a nasty break up and all you need is some time for yourself…but people keep calling, texting, emailing, voicemailing, facebooking you, and it just won’t stop because you’re so connected. In this situation there is really only one answer, you have to become a tech nomad…do what Carrie from Sex and the City did…throw your cell into the ocean, cut off your phone, ignore your emails and IMs and whatever you do….don’t go online to do anything other than look at your bank balance and pay bills. Live techlessly for as long as you like.
Is it really ALL bad though? Would I be here at almost midnight banging on my computer, writing this post if technology was sucking the soul out of my love life?
It’s not that bad.
The Pros are different. The Pros in this situation give us hope that the gadgets and tech that are making our lives easier are actually making our lives, and our love lives better. Firstly lets start with one of the fatal cons….he can reject you in a multitude of ways. The Pro is simply that if you’re looking for love, you wish to connect with someone…your someone so the various different forms of connectivity that you experience with technology give you the ability to connect in more ways…more ways to flirt, more ways to play games at the beginning, and more ways to express feelings of adoration during the course of the relationship.
The Pros are simple ladies, it’s not the technology that’s the problem…it’s us. We continue to make the same mistakes, come on too strong, freak him out with marriage and kids too soon, take over his life too quickly, become clingy, needy…whatever. The tech just gives us ways to do that more frequently, more in his face and more stupidly. We’re not getting rejected over several different mediums…we’re getting rejected by one medium – him, we just look for it in more places. And for when it’s all roses and rainbows the technology gives us a medium to connect to our lovers in multitudes of ways, more ways than the 1950s housewife could ever have dreamed.
Being somewhat of a gadget girl you would think that I was already Wii’d up…but to be honest I’m not THAT much of a gamer.
It’s actually quite pretty.
